I need to have a goal in my life. A simple and tiny ones, but those that will bring big impact to me :D (oh well at least to me) Well dear December, you have come to the end. Almost end. 2012, please be good to me. Here are my to dos and I shall complete everything by 31st December xoxo

1. (Study) Wake up early *no sleep after Subuh* and revision at least 1 hour 
2. (Lifestyles) Go one new place - new to me. hehe
3. (Lifestyles) Make new friends
4. (Blog) Write a post about where I have been for the few months
5. (Health) Exercise
6. (Good Deed ) Donate $** to a masjid

She and Her Heart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3k75QdqW9Yk

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall. I scared to fall in love because I know at the end of the day, I'm gonna be the one who'll be left outside alone. Sometimes love comes around and knock you down. Oh my, what am I mumbling? STOP. Okay, here goes. After watching this video, how I wish the same thing will happen to me. I have figured out a few ways and finally I came to the conclusion that I need to have in my life. I want to be a happier person :D All my doubt suddenly goes away. Hey love, I don't know who you are, where you come from and I don't even know your background. I don't mind waiting for you (my true love). And all along I believed I will find you someday: ) All I need is to pray hard.

I have died everyday waiting for you,
Darling, don't afraid I have loved you,
I have loved you for thousand years,
I love you for a thousand more <3

# I want someone who can understand me more than I can understand them

KPTM

Maaaaaaan ~ it ain't easy for me to keep my 'consistency' here
As much as I want to keep my post rolling
I am aware that I got limited time and energy
I dance, I love reading novel (once in a while :p)
I am a daughter, I am a friend, I am alien on foreign land.
BUT most of all, I am bloody HR student !
This is my college if you ask me
Located in Cheras, Kuala Lumpur
I'm preparing for my next sem- part 2. InsyaAllah hope dekan lagi for next sem : )

If Only you'll understand ME

When NurulNabilah is quiet, millions things are running in her mind. When she is not arguing, she is thinking deeply. When she looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around (?). When she answer "i'm fine" AFTER a few seconds, she is not at all fine. When she stares at you, she is wondering why are you lying. When she calls you everyday, she is seeking for your attention. When she sms's you everyday, she wants you to reply her at least once. When she says I love you, she MEAN it. When she says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future. When she says 'i miss you', no one in this world can miss you more than her... :')

#yourstruly, NurulNabilah <3

Penghujung Cintaku :')

Tak mungkin berlakunya kecurangan, andainya hatimu seperti hatiku....

Jika kamu menangis kerana lelaki, berhenti dan cuba fikir kembali, adakah sebenarnya Dia yang kamu cari atau cintanya? Adakah yang bertapak di hatimu betul-betul cinta sejati atau hanya kerana dia keluarkan kata-kata manis? Benda manis pun ada tarikh luputnya tahu? Adakah insan seperti ini yang kamu rasa boleh memimpin kamu kelak? Boleh pandu bahtera keluarga-mu ke arah redhanya? Boleh menyayangi kamu sepenuh hati, terima seadanya cacat celamu? Kesat air mata itu, sesungguhnya harga dirimu lebih penting, sesungguhnya harga air matamu lebih bernilai, lebih berharga jika dibazirkan untuk lelaki itu... Bersabarlah. Berhenti menangis berhenti berharap pada perkara yang belum pasti, yakin dengan ALLAH, orang yang baik adalah untuk orang yang baik-baik dan kamu layak untuk orang yang lebih baik.

<3 Aku tersenyum walaupun disakiti kerana aku kekasih ALLAH : )

But I can't anymore

Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do, just a total eclipse of the heart

Demi Allah, I should be more strong than usual. My heart actually tested me this time. Why now?! Why this time I have tested with this test? Ouch... my soul struggling to released from the grip of pain that seems impossible can be eased. It's hurt me... Tears have been accompany me the whole night. If I ask myself what is so wrong with me? Can you please answer me? If I ask, where you get me wrong? How much can you explain to me? I know I'm not good, more or less I tried to be perfect for the best I can do so that I could be complementary in your life. You wanted to go and said you would never ever come back. You said don't asked what is the reason, never asked you why, but accept with open heart that this is not our fate. Your simple words makes my heart hurt easily. As I touch my heart with prayers as I realized that I was not alone in facing these things. Every step you walked away, my heart was crying too and hoping you turn and come back to treat my pain but that's impossible :'(

Oh Well, I know, Because I Am Just Me

Oh yeaayyyyy, I suppose I have to write 10 things about me eh? Okayy so here goes :

1. Currently staying Cheras, KL yuhuuu uhh miss my hometown
2. A student
3. Such a big sucker for ice cream vanilla and chocolate haha ( I know)
4. Universal music listener, I can go from classic to very modern haha (somehow I prefer those with deep meaning lyrics rather than heavy machine sounds ) =_________=
5. Appear simple and laid back ( but can be complicated at times too)
6. Prefer tidy than decorative
7. Love stories but not lenghts words
8. I am very sensitive person
9. Love to talk but speak in silence
10. I started to play guitar haha

Somehow, A Beautiful Thing Is Never Perfect

I might not be as good as you, but at least I am me

Open House :)

Sorry! Now only I could update this blog -.- I am toooo busy prepared for open house. Mum cooked for open house. I did not invite any of my friend. I don't know feeling too lazy.  LOL! My brother and sister invite their friends, Uncle Nathan was invited (kawan rapat Abah) Dapat duit raya lagiii $$$  Yayyy2 :DD So, dah besar punn bukan penghalang nak dapat duit raya kan? Hihihihi :P I'll be busy tomorrow, going to my relatives house. This week was totally busy for me and I don't have time to do revision. Haihhh. Kalau selalu macam ni, aku boleh mati sebab langsung tak pegang buku. Well, well, well, Raya hanya setahun sekali, so aku akan ENJOY to the max! Yu huuu <3 I will study but after all the things get done. Here are some of photos of mine. Tengok laaa ok : )

Disappointed tahap dewa :'(

Sedih! KBYE :'(

Every Tear I've cried reminds me that I'm not OKAY at all :'(

Hello, I started another blog today. You're the one I wrote about, every night in my blog. Day by day, it's time for me to leave my family. I'm reluctant to leave mum staying alone at home. Aku dapat melihat kesedihan yang terpapar pada wajah mak setiap saat.  Mum, I'm beggin you please be strong. This I promise you. Hey dad, I still remember you told me that you love me the most. I love youu too dad! You're my superhero. Along, I know what you've GONE through. They're jealous of you. Remember this, what goes around comes around. Biarlah Allah yang tentukan saja terhadap perbuatan mereka. Guys, I really HATE that fuckin' mamak. Sayangku adik Nazila, I hope you like what I've posted on your wall. I really mean it =D AND you Fatin, please take care of mum while I'm over there. Seriously people, this is the first time I'm gonna stay far apart with my family. Hope everything will go smoothly. I really hate to be ME. I'm a weak, though I always advice people to be strong. I'm too sensitive and my weakness is that I'm easy to cry :'( Ya Allah, thanks for everything. I used to seek friends whenever I have problem, but, I forgot that ...  actually...  Allah is enough for me. Syukur alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah. Hey people, this may be the last time I wrote here cause after this I may be busy. Tc everyone. BYE BYE!

Love,
Nabilah :')

It's tough to stay single in this world where everybody expects you to be with someone. but staying single is not about having no choice rather than opportunity to make intelligent choices

Starting today, I declare to give up all my love towards a man I loved. I just wanna be myself. Seriously, I begin to hate the things associated with love. For me, love is NOTHING! I'm not gonna talk about my EX  anymore. This I promised myself. You guys are just the same *HEARTLESS* Hey EX, you know what really hurts me the most?! You make me believe that you love me but you really NEVER did! Even in my heart (when we're in relationship) , I see you are not being true to me. Quit playing games with my heart. You may feel nothing for me even I fell so much for you. Now, I really HATE you more than I love youuu!!! It's okay. Love, why do I love someone whose love wasn't mine? I'm tired of you. HAIHHHH!!! Thanks to your friend cause make the most stupid 'DATE' for me. He said he did all that just to know I love you or him. Just to test me, he said. Now, I just wanna focus fully on my studies and start a new life without love. I'll move on in life and says 'There are lots of other fish in the sea for me'. Sekarang ni, ampa semua boleh BLAHH dalam hidup aku! Get the hell outta my life!!! I'll be SINGLE FOREVER!

Utusan Buat Bondaku :')

Dear Mom,

Imissyou sooo much my love :') I'm sorry if I ever hurt you. I'm a stupid daughter because I doesn't know how to take care of your feelings. Mom, how sad I was after I knew I got an offer for further studies. How am I going to survive my days without you? Iloveyou and I'm not willing to part with you :(  Mom, I don't need anyone in my life. Just tie me in your arm, I don't care. Just you and dad be with me please... Please? :( Tiada siapa yang lebih penting dalam hidupku kerana bagi aku keluarga adalah segala-galanya buatku. Susah senang kita hidup bersama. I want to make both of you happy and stay with me. Marry? Err' I will not marry anyone because for me you're perfect enough for my entire life. Parents, you're the only one who can fit into my world :) ILY mom, dad! Segala jasamu tetapku kenang hingga ke akhir hayatku.

DEAREST MAK & ABAH :

                                         

            My dearest Parents,

     Wherenever I have needed you,

   You come through rain or shine,

You make my world a brighter place,

             By simply being you,

    I know you want the best for me,

                In everything I do.

             Thanks Mom,Dad :)
Love,
Your Daughter :)

Goodbyes for Us!

Aku rasa setakat di sini saja persahabatan kita. I don't think we can go further and I'll not be crying for someone who doesn't appreciate the real meaning of friendship. Segala perbuatan hang terhadap aku membuatkan aku benar-benar terasa/kecil hati yang teramat. Aku masih ingat aku yang mulakan untuk berdamai dengan hang padahal, you're the one who misunderstood me! Friendship means... saying you're sorry. Even when you're really not. Hey, stop being nice if you don't appreciate me as your friend, that doesn't make you look smart but a stupid bimbo idiot. I don't want to say anything anymore, one day at the same time you'll realize how great I appreciate our friendship. I'll walk away and never see each other again. GOODBYE!

I look at my FB message and thought...ahh, those times! We'll never have it again!

Still hate I'd tear because our conversation reminds me so MUCH of you. You must be a thieft cause you stole my heart, you must be tired cause you're always runnin' through my mind. And maybe. I'm a bad shooter cause I keep missing you. Sometimes I wonder ; The HEART is the center of our chest but it beats at the left side. I guess that's the reason why the heart was isn't always right :'(

Two tear drops were floating down the river. One drop tear drop said to other, " I'm the teardrop of a girl who loved a man and lost him. Who are you? " I'm the teardrop of the man who regret letting go a girl.

You Better Hope That You Are Not Alone

After what I went through last night, I decided to write in my blog because this is the best place for me to express my feelings. Everything goes wrong. Yesterday was a nightmare for me. He told me about his feelings towards me. Seriously people, I don't know what should I do. He is one of the kindest friend I have met in a long time. I remember when I broke up, he is a friend who always support me until now. I couldn't accept all this because I'm afraid that one day I may hurt your feeling. I hurt one of your friend feeling while ago and I don't want the same thing happen to you. Hey, you better hope that you are not alone. Promise you I will always be by your side. I appreciate every single thing that you did. We can't be together because we are in a different religion. I don't want to repeat the history of my life. You know that I have been in relationship with different religion and the most saddest part is that we broken up because of this. This is always happen when the two world drifted apart. I really hope you understand my feelings and situation at this moment. If our relationship is more than just a friend that will only ruin our friendship since last year. I'm not sure if you really liked me or not. But, I said above is true. Sorry for telling you this, I still love my EX. He is like my shadow, keep haunting me but never reachable. Trust me, someday you will find someone who is much better than me. I'm sorry for hurting you. I really hope we can be friend cause I don't wanna lose someone like you. I mean it.

Love,
BFF

I know 'ME' so well

Just because her eyes don't tear doesn't mean her heart don't cry :'(

Never cry again :')

Walk,walk, I'll walk away and never see each other again. ILYB :')

I am who I am

I don't fear your judgement 'cause I already know who I am'.

Prayers

I pray you give me the patience that you have given my parents. It's the least I could do for their time and love.

You guys Game me :'( It's okay

I need time to cure this feeling. I'm sorry. You have hurt me.

Yes,YOu :)

I love you, you love her, You love me, I love him, he loves him, he loves her, how comes in this world,nobody loves anymore? How come in this world everyone is unhappy. Eh, how come in this world everybody loves somebody else but not themselves?

Only Time

None of you made me feel the way you did. I was not expecting a call from Nadiah had apparently brought news about you. I feel glad you have asked about me. I was quite surprised and happy but despite that I'm mad at you. You left me with millions of disappointed in my heart. Currently,there is no one who can replace you. My life is complicated. I still thinking about you. I have to move on no matter what and I promise to myself I won't fall for boys anymore. You're the last person I love the most. You have been with me from the very first life;every time,every single thread in all of my lives. Who can say why my heart cries,when my love lies...
 who knows? Only time...:'(

My Loneliness Is Killing Me

When I think about the previous relationship that we shared,I decided to write in my blog about you. Boy,I want you to know something. My life is empty without you. I miss the way you're playing with my hair. I miss every single step of your action towards me. I tried to forget you but I'm not be able to. For your info,I have been in relationship with someone but my mind can't stop thinking of you. I missed the way you look into my eyes each time we met at school. I can't deny there was no one can treat me as you treat. I'm interested in how you tackle and it was different to me. I realize we have a misunderstanding when we couple.Although we have a problem I know you never have a quarell with me. Boy, I would tell you how much that I have missed you. I know we will never be together because we are in a different religion. You broke your promise and I'll through this pain all alone. Thank you for all you've done.

A Letter to Mum

Dear,
Mum
I'm proud of you because of your responsibilities as a mother with a perfect love that you gave me.I am soooo sorry for our argument this morning. I feel so stupid because I had a quarell for only a small thing. What I want is a little freedom from you. I tell you every single move that I do. I listen to what you say. Am I not good enough for you? I still remember I had to quit gymnastic classes when I was form 2. I was upset but I still follow your requirement. Mum,just wanna let you know I cried just now before going to work. I feel so bad for my stupid actions,ego and selfishness to you. I appreciate every single when you spend your time with me. Again, I'm sorry... ILY mum :(

Love,
Your Daughter

Borlesque Day :)

Music ON! Baby...Baby...Baby Ooo...Okay! Today everything runs smoothly. Breakfast at Old Town White Coffee after that went to Gurney,eat free Cornetto (it's sucks) and go for movie (Burlesque). This movie was Awesome. Two thumbs up! I met Ali at his working place and we were talking about our results. He told me his effort before and after STPM. For me,well-worth the result that he score because he told me he did not stop praying to Allah. Seriously,I was impressed with him. However,I will try to draw closer to  Allah little by little and continue to pray. I believe Allah always listen every single of my prayer. After watching movie I went back and once again I skipped for work today. Well,this is me when i'm not interested in that job. I'll do what I want/like and etc! I wonder how great if I could say 'I'm quit Supervisor!'

Life Is Complicated

I don't know why,but the last couple month,I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on the past,my old self...both sillier and smarter:somewhat more clear headed and a great deal more Jealous! So much driven and chafing my restraints. Haihh...

Dark Circle o.O

This morning I woke up and look at my face in the mirror. Dammit! dark circle. It's getting worse day by day. Please go away dark circle! :( i HATE you

Lost The Love I Love The Most

ILY but what could I do? I'm not able to control one's feelings. I realize not everyone that we love in our lives will love us back in the same way as we do. You runnin' around leaving me with scars! I love you the most. I don't doubt,you're not my first but for me you're my first. I don't know why I still have this feeling towards you. I miss our sweet moments together.God,please erase my feelings towards him because I was tired of this.

Today's Awesome :D

Nadiah,she's my friend! We used to laugh everytime when we meet. The best thing today was we play Teletubbies game at Mazzard counter. haha. My all time favourite tv show. Thanks Nadiah for colouring my life :) yeahhh! you ROCK,me SWEETIE. hahaha :D

Result!

I don't wanna talk about this. Sorry!

You're my Everything

Mum,
I'm happy to be with you. You always brighten my day with words of passion every day. It makes me more assertive in my daily life. You are the person whom can fill my bitter and sweetness. ILY mum :) same goes to you Abah :)
Love,
Your Daughter

Thank You Allah

Alhamdulillah...Finally,I was able to live normally.I guess I have not fully recovered but though I'm happy with my life right now! yeah...(very) Thank you Allah. Without you I am nothing.Amin...

Just For You

Dear,

Parents

I miss you guys so much! I was too busy until no time to spend time together.I wake up you both already go to work. I came home you two have been sleeping.Sighh!I really miss our sweet time and our family moments.Mum,thank you for the flight that you willing to pay for me and sis.I really appreciate it.One more thing,I always think of my STPM result.I can't get this out of my mind.I was too scared to face the result.Parents,believe in me.I will continue study no matter what.Thank you very much for all the kindness that you gave me all this while.I will NEVER forget.I love you guys so much! :)
 Love,

Your Daughter 

Once Upon A Time :)

I was shocked by an old story.It's a good news :)! Who knows,ten years after we split up,finally meet and work at the same place. We can't stop laughing all the time by telling the old memories.They said I am a fierce school prefect. Seriously,I can't remember anything. LOL:D Break time,I met with my st.xavier friend.He looks more handsome than last time at the school.Hehe. I'm having a good day:) Just that the Exec Cosmetic came to my counter and talk about the incident within the day.I don't care about it too because it has nothing to do with me at all :) haha!

Two Is Better Than One

I really miss our sweet moment though we have a few moments together.I remember when we walked along the mall after coming back from school.If possible I would like to turn the clock back to that moment.I know this will never happen all at once.Now you are happy with other girl who look much perfect than me.Two Is Better Than One reminds me of you cause this song always playing on the radio when I was in the car driving back from school.It's the intro before we start a relationship as couple.I hate myself every time when I think about you.I'm a fool because I used to think a lot of you.Yet,you're heartless.

Untitled

I don't know why I still have this feeling.I miss you.I can't believe i'm saying this.but it's true :(

Happy 2011 :) !

The year that was,was nothing more than fictional.The year to come,come what may a new beginning